by HM1 Alvin Grant, USN

Most people who drink too much already know deep down that they should stop. But it looks too hard, too hopeless. When you let your loved one know that you expect him to change his habits, add some hope by pointing him in the direction of help. Few alcoholics are able to simply quit on their own, and stay off the substance. Most do better if they get help.

You can find many resources for alcohol recovery in the Yellow Pages of your phone book. (usually under alcohol treatment). These listings include private treatment centers as well as free recovery services available. Make a list of the ones that seem most suitable, and give the list to him or her when you first have your quiet, sober talk.

If he refuses to consider getting outside help, please, don't give up and don't get mad. But do bring it up again the next time the two of you talk about the problem (remember do this only when he is sober). Caution: the source of his help in withdrawing from alcohol should not be you. You can work on the relationship, but let the professionals deal with the recovery from his alcohol addiction.

Get help for yourself. The people closest to a problem drinker almost always can use some help in dealing with the situation. If your loved one cannot or will not stop drinking, you have to decide how you're going to create a decent life for yourself, with or without him. In doing this it helps to have support of others who have been in the same situation.

When an alcoholic does stop drinking, his family goes through as many changes as the drinkers does. This is a challenge to all concerned because the old patterns of relating are gone. The recovering drinker may actually find this easier to handle than the family will. New patterns of behavior are exactly what he's focusing on. In this phase too, it helps to have the support of other people who have been through the same thing.

Many people in this position benefit from groups such as Al-Anon, a self-help group of people who are dealing with a loved one's drinking. It's confidential, free, and family members can attend meetings as often or as infrequently as they need to.

My point is to get some support in dealing with this problem, because it is a very complicated one. Not only for the drinker, but for his family too. Dealing with a loved one’s drinking problem can be exhausting. Here are just a few ways to make it easier on yourself. I recommend you to take full advantage of these resources readily available:

Center for Substance Abuse Treatment 800 662-HELP
Counseling and Assistance Center, Naval Station Anacostia (202) 433-2034
Kids Peace National Center for Kids in Crisis (800) 8KID-123
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. (800) 356-9996
Alcohol Anonymous World Services (212) 870-3400
Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters (310) 547-5800
Cocaine Helpline (800) COCAINE

Some people may tell you that you never can make a drinker or drug abuser quit his habit. In a way, they're right. If you make it into a battle of wills, you're sure to lose. Developed by Sir Isaac Newton in the 17th century. These 3 laws may help.

1. Force is needed to change

2. The rate of change is equal to the resultant force acting upon it.

3. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

F=ma or Force=mass x acceleration. I think this explains why, if the will or force to stop drinking is not large enough, he will never overcome the gravitational addiction that is keeping him down.