WHAT
TO DO IF YOU BELIEVE by CAPT Jane F. Vieira, CHC, USN TAKE ALL THREATS SERIOUSLY. Trust your suspicions. It is easy to predict suicidal behaviors when a person shows most of the factors given. However, the warning signs from many people are very subtle. Something like telling loved ones "good-bye" instead of "good-night" may be the only clue. The number of people who do not take threats seriously is amazing! ANSWER CRIES FOR HELP. Once you are alerted to the clues that may constitute a "cry for help" from a loved one, friend, or co-worker, you can help in several ways. The most important thing is not to ignore the issue. It is better to offer help early than to regret not doing so later. The first step is to offer support, understanding, and compassion, no matter what the problem may be. The suicidal person is truly hurting! CONFRONT THE PROBLEM. If you suspect that a person is suicidal, begin asking questions. You may begin with a statement such as, "You sure dont seem to have been yourself lately." "You appear to be kind of down." "Is there something bothering you?" An affirmative answer to any of these might lead to another question, such as, "Are you feeling kind of depressed?" An affirmative answer to that question might result in a statement such as, "I guess sometimes it seems as though its not worth it to go on struggling and fighting when so many disappointing things happen to you." An affirmative answer to that statement might lead to, "Do you sometimes wake up in the morning and wish you didnt have to wake up, wish you were dead?" A "yes" might lead to, "Have you been thinking about killing yourself?" Has suicide entered your mind?" BE DIRECT. Do not be afraid to discuss suicide with the person. Getting them to talk about what's bothering them is a positive step. Be a good listener and a good friend. Don't judge, act shocked, or make light of the situation. Don't keep it a secret. Talking about what's bothering them may lead the person away from actually doing it by giving them the feeling that someone cares. Ask, "Are you thinking about hurting yourself?" or "Are you thinking about committing suicide?" You cannot give somebody the idea by asking! On the contrary, you are giving them the opportunity to talk about what's bothering them. Listen, offer hope, take action and get help! TELL THEM YOU CARE. Persons who attempt suicide most often feel alone, worthless and unloved. You can help by letting them know they are not alone, that you care about what they feel and will listen. By assuring the person that some help is available, you are literally throwing them a lifeline. Remember, although a person may think s/he wants to die, s/he has an innate will to live, and is more than likely hoping to find reason to keep living. GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. The most useful thing that you can do is to encourage the person who is considering suicide to get professional help. If necessary, offer to go with them or take them to help. The Navy community offers many resources of help, including command leadership, chaplains, medical services, Fleet & Family Support Centers, and substance abuse counselors. However, in the Navy only medical providers can legally determine suicide risk. During business hours, it is recommended that you access Navy Medical Centers/Hospitals and clinics for help. After normal working hours, you may need to access your local emergency room. The most important thing is to get your shipmate to professional help. << Return to Self-help Main |