by HM1 Alvin Grant , USN

You believe that the person you care about drinks too much. You may be sure of this, or you may just have a feeling that the way he drinks is different from the way other people drink. How can you tell for sure? After all, the majority of people do like to have a drink now and again, and most of them seem to be fine - is he really any different? Further most drinkers have gotten a little tipsy at some point (particularly in young adulthood), and said or done things they feel like apologizing for later on - or maybe he'll just grow out of it.

More than likely you want to deny that someone you care about has a drinking problem; your afraid to bring the subject up because you tell yourself you could be wrong - worse, you could be right and he might get angry and turn on you. You may already have dropped broad hints about his drinking and your concerns about it. He may have denied it and made you think there was a problem all right, but it started and finished with you.

People who have a drinking problem are very good at twisting their own perceptions of those around them, so they won't have to face the fact that it is their drinking that is making life so difficult despite their denials. People who have problems with alcohol are likely to show similar patterns of thinking and behavior.

Here are some of the most important clues that something is wrong:

• The drinker does and says things when he's drinking that he wouldn't do sober (he may say this to you, or admit he's said it to himself)

• He must drink as part of any social event, or it isn't fun.

• He lies or makes excuses about how much he drinks.

• He drinks when he said he wouldn't.

• He drinks and drives.

• He sometimes can't remember what happened while he was drinking.

• He spends money and time on drinking that he should have spent on school, work, or family.

• He prefers the company of drinkers and may dislike non-drinkers.

• He says he can cut back or quit drinking, but he never does.

• He says he can't have a problem 'Johnny' drinks much more than I do.