by HM1 Alvin Grant , USN

Before any substance abusers can gain control over their habits and lives, they must first admit there is a problem. For the non abuser this may appear simple, but for an addicted abuser it's more difficult than it sounds.

Drug or substance abuse is often accompanied by a flawed view of how harmful the habit really is. The desire to escape is what leads to abuse in the first place. When an alcoholic or drug addict hits rock bottom and runs out of excuses, he or she may finally be willing to admit that help is needed immediately. Unfortunately, tens of thousands more will continue to function at low levels physically, emotionally and professionally. Facing up to taming a drug habit can help anyone rediscover the energy potential of a drug free life.

Most drug abusers deny that anything is wrong. The simplest form of denial is to refuse to admit any drug use at all. "I don't have a problem". But even someone who admits to "occasional" (or "so called" controllable) drug use will often insist that there is no problem, and certainly no addiction. Not me!

Do any of these denials look familiar?

• "I can handle my own." This usually means that the user is not aware of any difference in his behavior when he or she is on drugs. But I can guarantee you that surrounding people probably are.

• "I'm not addicted." One of the number one forms of denial. Not all drugs create an intense physical addiction, it's true. But when drug users believe that they must have the drug to feel "good" or "normal" (there's that word again), that's a mental addiction. Call it what you will, that's just another form of being hooked.

• "I only (drink beer, smoke pot, use drugs on weekends), etc." You can fill in any favorite denials or excuse you want. The truth of the matter is, behavior is a much fairer indication of addiction than our feelings or any explanations we can let come out of our mouths about why we use drugs.

• "All my friends are doing it." A famous excuse from my children and one I constantly used with my mother. She always asked; if all your friends were to jumped off a ten story building into a pile of manure, would you jump too?

All of us are influenced, to some extent by the behavior of others. Breaking free from a drug culture often means examining our relationship with ourselves and with others. Getting in touch with yourself and getting to know your children. I say this as a parent and a drug counselor because adolescents (or teenagers) are so easily affected by peer pressure.

Most kids will never have a drug problem. But virtually every child will face the pressures that can lead to experimentation and drug use. Whether your child is able to resist those pressures depends totally upon you. It's easier for kids to "just say no" to drugs when they have good reasons for doing so. Talk to your children. Give them the reasons. Reasons like "my parents don't approve of drugs, it would hurt them if I tried it," or "I've thought about it, and it's just not worth the risk." Kid's really do value their parents opinion.. Remember the Plan of the Day Note? "To keep children away from drugs, one thing is clear: school, community, religious institutions, the police -- all of them can help. But "No One" can replace family. Talk to them. Listen to what they have to say. Understand them. If you don't, the dealer will.

Drug dealers and users are the most scandalous, conniving, fast-talking people your kids may ever encounter. They want to sell their product, and what easier way to advertise their product than to give free samples. "Free," a cunning little word. It's a business where anyone is a client.